Just my 42 cents worth of advice

How many emails have you sent out this morning? At least 10?

How many people did you CC or BCC on your last email? Why did you choose to CC or BCC them?

If you had to pay 42 cents for each email – and 42 cents for each person you CC or BCC on your email – how many would you have sent?

A lot less I am sure! But think about this concept- before you click “Send.” Would you send this email if you had to pay a small fee in order to do so?

What is your email worth – not just to you – but to your recipient?

Email saves you time. Unsolicited email wastes the recipient’s time.

Email is efficient for conveying information. Unstructured email confuses the recipient.

Seth Godin has a wonderful list of 36 points to check before you send out your next email. Click here to read it. Print it out. Laminate it. Keep it in prominent spot next to your computer. Think about each point before you send out your next email.

If you take even one of these thirty points to heart, you will compose more effective emails. You will send out fewer emails. But those that you do send out will be read – and acted upon!

And that is what you want as a result – isn’t it? Would it be worth an investment of 42 cents? Think about this before you click “Send.” Can you imagine your recipient saying “Thank you?”

If not, re-think your eamil message. And reconsider including each person that you copy the email to.

Please share your email tips and stories with our readers. Add your comments below.

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Learn to control your finger pointing

Bill CLinton Finger PointingDon’t point your finger at me! I don’t like it. I especially don’t like it when you “wiggle”your finger” in my face.

Most people share my feelings. Who likes to be publicly scolded?

Why do I  – and others – have such a strong reaction to this gesture? According to Carol Kinsey Goman in “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets of Body Language at Work,”

“… I’ve often seen politicians and executives use this gesture in meetings, negotiations, or interviews for emphasis or to show dominance. The problem is that rather than being a sign of authority, aggressive finger pointing (with one or four fingers) suggests that the person is losing control of the situation, and it smacks of playground bullying.”

  • Losing control of the situation
  • Smacks of playground bullying

These are hardly signs of strength and authority! Certainly not what the speaker intended. What about the “finger-pointer-in-chief” – former President Bill Clinton? What is he actually communicating, non-verbally – when he wags his index finger at a reporter or at someone in the audience?

That he is losing control of the situation. That he is trying to be overly aggressive; trying to intimidate; trying to regain control of a situation that is quickly deteriorating.

It is not a gesture of strength. And… once we realize what this nonverbal communication is really telling us, how do we feel about the speaker who is wagging their finger at us?

Well, what did the playground bully do once you called him or her on their actions? They immediately backed down. They demonstrated that they had lost control and that they never had the power to intimidate you.

Unfortunately, most of us never call a “powerful” politician or business executive on their actions. Why not? Perhaps this is because (unfortunately) few of us ever called a schoolyard bully on their actions.

We may suspect that this is just a “fit of anger.” That is just an “act.”

It is an act – an act of desperation!

Once we understand and learn to correctly interpret a person’s “body language” we can turn this “acting” to our advantage. We can gain leverage during our negotiations. We can gain the “nonverbal advantage!”

Of course, we must look at the context of the gesture. An isolated instance of finger pointing does not signal “losing control.” However, combined with a flushed face and an elevation in the pitch of the voice and the use of deliberate language… Now that is telling us something about the “finger pointer.” It is quite revealling about their real feelings. About their loss of control. About their bullying behavior.

Certainly, he is not the only “finger-pointer,” but why doesn’t former President Clinton take steps to minimize his finger-pointing?  Why doesn’t one of his close aides or family members “point this out” to him? (Pun intended!)

Why do playground bullies persist? Why do business executives seem to get away with this kind of behavior? Why do so many parents lose control of a situation when talking with their children?

Why?

Now that you have gained some insight into how to interpret this angry gesture, will you react differently the next time?

Maybe yes. Maybe no. Even if you do not react differently – by calling them on their finger pointing, at least you now know that “finger pointing” is just a mask for someone losing control of the situation. Someone who is possibly hiding something. Someone who is afraid.  If you react properly, you can turn this to your advantage. You can gain the upper hand – not just the fingers!

To read a related article that I published on this subject, click here.

Please share your comments about “finger pointing” with our readers. Add your comments below.

 

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How to acheve success by failing

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.

– Thomas Watson, Jr. President of IBM (1952 – 1971)

Business Week Magazine has an interesting article titled, “Why Failures Can Be Such Success Stories.”  Along with an accompanying slide show, the writer details the multiple failures of many famous people and explains how and why they were able to rebound from a potentially debilitating experience:

  • Basketball superstar Michael Jordan was cut from his High School team.
  • Walt Disney was fired from his newspaper job because “he lacked creativity.”
  • Jack Welsh, former CEO of GE, literally “blew the roof” off a building because of a failed experiment early in his career.

What drives these people – and thousands of others just like them – to succeed? Why didn’t they just sink into the floor and seek cover from their mistakes?

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein

That’s one explanation. And quite acceptable – in a clinical sort of way. Theoretically, I can accept the need to learn from my mistakes. And I have – made many mistakes – and learned from many of them.

What is more complex is the “blow to the ego” that usually accompanies a colossal failure. It is not the mistake, per se, that matters. It is how we personally react to the mistake. What we learn about what went wrong is important. But… what we learn about ourselves – and our reaction to the failure – is what determines our success – or our potential failure.

“We need to teach the highly educated person that it is not a disgrace to fail and that he must analyze every failure to find its cause. He must learn how to fail intelligently, for failing is one of the greatest arts in the world.” – Charles Kettering

What we can teach – others and ourselves – is the concept of “self-efficacy.”  Resiliance. The ability to bounce back after a failure. Learning how to look ahead and learning from your mistakes. Learning not to view mistakes as a personal failure.  To quote from Douglas MacMillan’s Business Week article:

“While self-efficacy is akin to other aspects of positive thinking such as self-confidence and self-esteem, it relates in particular to self-assurance about being able to excel at a particular task rather than to a person’s overall self-image. When failure strikes, people with high self-efficacy learn from their errors and strengthen their resolve to succeed.”

“Self-efficacy” is a trait that can be learned. It is a trait that leaders learn. It is a trait that leaders teach to others. A trait that they help to nurture in others – personally and organizationally.

How? How do you teach “self-efficacy?” By coaching and mentoring your staff. By offering constructive feedback on a continuing basis. By teaching people to “fail intelligently.” By teaching people how to succeed – by failing.

“Most people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying that they made them.” – John Hays

 

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Create new habits – when we don't have to think about what we do!

Greetings from Australia!

I am reaching the end of a two-week tour of speaking and training sessions. I have had a great time! I’ve met lots of terrific people; had some wonderful meals; and… am close to reaching the desired state of “not having to think about what I do naturally” –  when it come to driving … on the opposite side of the road! Signaling when I intend to turn right – or left! Does this lever turn on my windsheild wipers, or turn on my turn signal? What used to be on my left (in Los Angeles) is now on my right…

This is harder than you think! All change is difficult.

It takes a long time to reach a level of competence – where you can do the things that you need to  be doing – without having to think about them!!! And… to not have to think about the things that you shouldn’t be doing.

Pheww!!! I have a headache now!

And, so should you, after trying to read – and, hopefully, comprehend what I just wrote!

How hard is it to “break” ingrained habits? Quite difficult indeed!

How difficult is it to create new habits? Difficult… but it can be done. It requires concentrated and sustained thought and practice!

Think of the (good) habits that we have acquired. The things that we do without having to think about them – we are unconsciously competent! For example:

  • Indicating that we are going to make a left or right turn.
  • Actually making a left or right turn – and driving in the correct lane when we make the turn!
  • Remembering to (actually) look both ways before crossing the street. I am very lucky to still be alive to write this post after being in Australia for two weeks! I still forget to look to my “right” before crossing the street!

As a professional trainer, I tend to forget how difficult it is to create new habits. I tend to get frustrated when my class does not quickly adopt the new habits that I so logically present and propose.

I still resist saying, “break old habits!” But… I tend to presume that it is easy to adopt new habits. It is not! Not now, not ever!

Either way … it require thought, dedication, and applied effort – sustained over a two-week period before we can start to become unconsciously competent with our new habit!

I hate “breaking old habits.” I prefer to create “new” habits. But … I have to admit – it is easier said than done!

During my training sessions on this trip I have acquired a new appreciation for how difficult it is to acquire new habits. It is harder to do so than I ever said that it would be. I am humbled by the experience!

For example:

  • Every time I get into my car I repeat to myself, “It is DOWN RIGHT silly to be LEFT UP on the rooftop.” This little “saying” helps me to remember the direction of my turn signals – DOWN to turn RIGHt and UP to turn LEFT. At home, in Los Angeles, I never give this a second thought. Here in Australia, not thinking about this (seemingly) inconsequential action could get me into serious trouble.

So… I now have a greater understanding for the difficulty of putting into practice the new habits that I want  to adopt. I need to invest a considerable amount of effort into thinking about what I am going to change – and why it is important!

In Australia, if I fail to think about what lane I need to turn into, I can cause an accident. If I negelect to remind myself that my Right Turn Signal is UP – I can cause others to have an accident.

I consider myself to be an intelligent man. I consider myself to be open to  and willing to change habits.

So… why am I still having to think about these changes in habit after two weeks? Because… change takes time to accomplish – even when you are open to change. Especially when you are commited to change.

Change does not happen over night. Not even over a fortnight! But I am getting more comfortable with it each day.

 

 

 

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Will be back posting soon

Just a quick hello from Perth, Australia where I am training a few clients. I have been having Internet connection problems here. I’ll be back posting as soon as I have a stable connection.

Meanwhile, thank you for your patience. Please explore my archive of articles. Just use the handy SEARCH box to access an article of your choice or topic.

Thanks!

Danny

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When to fire your customer

Have you ever experienced the proverbial “customer from hell?” You know the type – they complain constantly … about any thing … and every thing. You try to please them … appease them … make peace with them … Nothing works. Nothing will ever work – for them. And yet …

  • They continue to purchase your product
  • They talk about your product – in person and on-line
  • They send you detailed reviews about your product after each purchase
  • They even purchase stock in your company
  • And they drive you “nuts” because they will never be completely satisfied – and they tell you that (in so many words and actions)
  • And they tell others (in so many words) on Internet websites and chat rooms

What would you do?

Well here is what Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines told a couple from Cleveland, OH – “We do not want your return business – EVER! You are “banned for life” from our cruise ships.” True story – click here to read it.

In other words, “You will swim with the fishes” before you ever step foot on our ships!

Now, this couple did complain constantly. And… Royal Caribbean showered them with discount vouchers and cruise ship credits if only they would give them another chance. And they did. ..

They claimed the vouchers and cruised again. Then they complained – again and again. And Royal Caribbean gave them even more vouchers to come back… And this continued for several years.

The bigger problem, however, was that the Cleveland Cruise Couple wrote about their experiences on the Internet. To some – including Royal Caribbean – it seemed that they were bragging about how they were (almost) able to cruise for free twice a year – simply by complaining about the service!

“Hint, hint,” they seemed to say, “why don’t you try it too?” It worked for us! It can work for you!

That was the last straw for Royal Caribbean. They telephoned the couple and “deep-sixed” them!

What would you do in a similar situation?

  1. Tell them to “take their business elsewhere.” Perhaps you could even give them the phone number of your competitor!
  2. Do exactly what Royal Caribbean Cruise Line did – push them overboard! And pray that they never write about this experience on any website. (Hey, maybe the Internet will stay down… forever!) After all, cruise ships know that all storms, no matter how severe, eventually pass on. What do you think – “This, too shall pass?”

My own feeling? I think that Royal Caribbean was “embarrased.” They felt that they were taken advantage of and humiliated in public. And… they lashed back in anger. They poured fuel on the fire. They threw a tantrum.

Oil and water will never mix. The Cruising Couple from Cleveland and Royal Caribbean will never mix.

If I were the Customer Service head at the cruise line, here’s what I would have done. After reviewing the client history file, I would have answered their next letter of complaint with a simple, “Thank you! I am sorry that we did not meet your standards.” No discount voucher, no plea to give us another chance. Just say, “You’re right! We did not meet your expectations.”

Here is a related post that I wrote earlier this year on this topic. empathy-serve-it-to-your-customers/

What would you do? Please share your customer service stories with our readers. Add your comments below:

 

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Why customers line up to purchase your product

I had a lovely day walking around the streets of Brisbane, QLD Australia this afternoon.  Great weather, nice parks, lots of people on the street.

About halfway into my walk I came across a long line of people. Why were they lined up? Probably to see a new hit movie, I thought. A new store opening, perhaps. The crowd was younger (than me) but they were much more reserved than I expected. After all, if you are going to a movie, you are usually with your friends and talking – in anticipation or just socializing.

This line of people was different. Quiet, intent and patient.

Imagine my surprise when I saw what they were waiting in line to purchase …Krispy Kreme Donuts!

Yes, the “Hot Light” was on – signaling that they were “fresh” from the oven. But this was a beautiful sunny day – and the early afternoon. And, this was in a pedestrian mall in an urban setting. Not, to my mind, the expected result. I like donuts in the morning. I like them hot and fresh. I like to enjoy them along with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

Not here. Not on this beautiful day in Brisbane. No place to sit and read and sip a beverage while you enjoy your Krispy Kreme. Lots of people lined up to purchase. Lots of desire and anticipation. Lots of donuts sold. Somthing special was definitely going on…

Buy why? Perhaps it is the “law of scarcity.” This was the only Donut shop that I observed on my walk. I saw lots of (mostly empty) Starbucks cafes. There are a lot of McDonald’s restaurants here. But only one Krispy Kreme!

Back home in the USA, Krispy Kreme was quite the “thing” when they first expanded beyond their home base. I live in Califormia but had experienced Krispy Kremes for years when I visited North Carolina. My wife is a native of Low Angeles and she went “wild” when she had her first Krispy Kreme – with the “Hot Light” on – when we made a trip to the Carolinas. She couldn’t wait for their first store to open in Los Angeles.

But then… they over-expanded. All at once – almost overnight – they went from being something special to being, well… everywhere. In every neighborhood. In grocery stores.

They were everywhere – and yet nowhere. They lost their special appeal – before they gave the market enough time to realize how special they were. They didn’t give their product enough time to become special. They were more interested in growing fast. And they quickly lost their appeal – to many people.

So, it was a shock for me to see this line. I wasn;t expecting it. In my mind, I had written off Krispy Kreme as “yesterday’s news.” As a failed company. As a company that became so fixated on growth that they abandoned the details that had set them apart.

I investigated the Krispy Kreme website and found my answer. They just opened their first store in Brisbane on April 29th – two weeks ago! People camped out overnight in order to be the first in line to “experience” a Krispy Kreme.

The “Law of Scarcity” at work! Let’s see how long this will last here in Brisbane. Will they resist the temptation to “grow big fast?” Time will tell/

Too often, we become obsessed with  growing our business – more customers, more sales, more locations, more money. But we forget about what made us get into business in the first place. What made us special.

Today – halfway around the world – I witnessed a “throwback” in time. I was tempted – for a few moments – to join that line. To rekindle the spark of remembrance of my first Krispy Kreme 30 years ago!

But I didn’t. That spark was extingusihed a few years ago. Krispy Kreme went from being an extraordinary experience to something quite ordinary – nothing special. They violated the “Law of Scarcity.”

I had too much on my mind today to wait in line. I was exploring a new city – to me – and I didn’t have that much time to wait in line. That “magic act” had disappeared for me. Krispy Kreme was no longer special for me. My time was in short supply. Time, for me today, was my own “Law of Scarcity.”

 

 

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Time and The International Date Line

“Time – unless it is managed, nothing else can be managed.”

– Peter Drucker

Greetings from Australia! I just “lost a day” by crossing The International Date Line.

Losing a day…. Where did it go? Time flies, I agree. But losing a day by flying (across The Date Line) – that is still quite a concept to grasp.

Increasingly, I am attuned to time. How to make the most of it. How to prioritize my activities. How not to waste time. How to better manage my time so that I can accomplish what I want to.

Time – once it is gone, you can never get it back.

Except… when I return to Los Angeles from this trip. I’ll get back that day that I lost when I re-cross The International Date Line. What will I do with that “found” day?

Better question: “What will I do today? How will I manage my time, today? What will I do in order to accomplish what I indentify as my priorities?

I am going to start by reviewing my list – while I am having my morning coffee.

Have a great day! Use it wisely. You will never get it back.

 

 

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The Right Words at the Right Time

“The wrong words said at the wrong time discourage me.
The wrong words said at the right time frustrate me.
The right words said at the wrong time confuse me.
The right words said at the right time encourage me.”

– John C. Maxwell

Think about these words for a few minutes. Think about the times when a few well chosen words, spoken at just the right moment, helped you to …

  • gain the strength and confidence you needed to accomplish more than you thought possible.
  • take comfort in the love and care of your friends and family to help you recover from a setback or loss.
  • gather the courage to make a major change in your career.

Yes, words have incredible power. And they gain even more power when the right words are said at the right time. And to the right person.

But the wrong words, said at the wrong time… they can be devastating. They can …

  • damage your self-confidence.
  • dampen your enthusiasm.
  • deter you from moving forward in your job or your career … or your life.

The wrong words, said at the wrong time … Why would anyone choose to utter the wrong words – regardless of the time?

You wouldn’t choose to … unless you were malicious, vindictive or intent on inflicting pain. The operative word is choose.

It is your choice. Do you want to lift people up or put them down? Do you want to prepare your word choices – in advance? Or are you content to just say something – and hope for the best?

Think about what you are going to say – long before you ever have the opportunity to say it. Choose your words carefully. Practice saying them – aloud. Practice saying them over and over again – until you have internalized them. So that your words are sincere. So that the words are yours. So that how you speak the right words at the right time makes an impact – on the right person.

Not sure about which words are the right words? Just think about the words that people say to you. How do they make you feel? Be honest with yourself. Which words and phrases lift you up? And why do they do that?

Now, think about those words and phrases that deflate you. Why did they do that? How did they make you feel? What word choices could have been substituted? How would those word choices have made you feel better? Why?

Are you are taking the time to choose your words carefully? If not, why not? Think about the difference a word can make the next time that you deliver a employee performance evaluation. Better still, reflect upon the words your boss used when he or she last reviewed your performance. How did you react? Why? What would you have preferred them to say?

Choice words. Choose yours correctly. You always have a choice. Words do make a difference – over time!

Please take a few minutes to share your experiences with words and phrases. Which words motivated you? Tell us about those words said at the right time. Enter your comments in the space below. Thank you!

Click here to view or download this article as a Text Document – Published on www.ezinearticles.com

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Learn to speak with your handshake

What does your handshake say about you? How do your clients and colleagues react to your handshake? Do you give your colleague the same handshake that you extend to a new client? If not, why not? How do you react when someone gives you a “dead fish” handshake? Cold and clammy, I’ll bet!

Want to know more about the “dos and don’ts” of handshaking? Click here to view a slide show of handshaking examples – good and bad –  on the Business Week Magazine website.

How many times a day do you shake a person’s hand? So many times that you probably don’t even think about it.

But you should think about it. Not about the number. You need to examine how your personal handshaking style. You need to be sure that you convey a positive message when you “speak” with your handshake.

Here is why:

New research by University of Iowa business professor Greg Stewart confirms that a firm, solid handshake is an important part of a successful job interview, while a dead fish can end the interview before it even begins.

More important, in fact, than dress or physical appearance, the handshake seems to be a trigger that sets off an interviewer’s overall impression of a person.”

I encourage you to look at the handshaking examples in the Business Week slide show. Here are a few tips:

  • Both men and women should be proactive – don’t wait for someone to shake your hand. Extend your hand first.
  • Ensure that your handshake is firm – not strong – and that you make full-palm contact. The web of your hand touches the web of the other person’s hand.
  • Always make eye contact with the other person when you are shaking hands. This means that you must stand up to greet the other person when you shake hands.
  • Smile when you shake hands.
  • Always keep your right hand available to shake hands.
  • Be aware of “personal space” when you shake hands. In normal situations people will stand about two feet apart. As your relationship develops this distance will narrow.
  • Regardless of your gender, make sure that your handshake is firm. This conveys the message that you are confident and that you are assertive.
  • Start talking – say your name, for example – before you end your handshake.

Your handshake is your calling card. It reflects your personality. It is difficult to “fake.” It leaves a lasting impression of you.

What impression do you want to make? Learn to “speak” with your handshake.

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